A GLIMPSE OF OUR STORY
I crossed paths with Gerard “Gee” Keelen when I was 14 years old. He had just moved to his very last foster home in southern Louisiana. Since then, we developed a strong bond, and he eventually became the Ace in the deck in my life – my first love. He graduated high school my freshman year in 2017 and went to Grambling State University a year later but that didn’t put a hinge in our relationship. I can recall the time he told my mother he would “hold his lil baby down” when he went to Grambling, referring to me. Well, I can say he lived up to that because we never lost connection, there was almost never a time we were not on the phone while he was away, and he always came back to visit me. I remember when it’d be time for him to go after the visits and he would be about to pull out the driveway and he’d ask me “Why my phone not ringing yet?” He wouldn’t back out until we were on the phone. It got to a point where I just knew to call before we split ways. Our bond was so strong that even through the miles between us, we remained inseparable. We talked about life together after I finished high school often. So by 2020, I finally graduated high school and went off to Grambling as well. At some point things gradually started changing somehow but our bond remained unbreakable. We always checked in no matter what. We touched up on almost every topic under the sun within the numbered days, and I find so much comfort in that. He revealed a different side to me. His vulnerability poured out to me and he was just so transparent and honest when it came to his thoughts, feelings, and experiences to the point where he always shared past stories from his perspective, and even admitted to mistakes. He was so open and upfront, never left me in the dark and that’s what kept me. Not only that, Gee instilled a lot in me. He was so insightful when it came to life, it’s so many things he told me that will forever stick with me. He changed my perspective on some things. Gee was even willing to help me start my own business but God saw the bigger picture and blessed me with a brand that turned out to be tied to him, now I carry a piece of him with me forever. I’m so grateful I was able to experience someone like him, and I’m beyond proud of the life he lived! Gee always had a new plan, he would tell me all his future goals and aspirations and he accomplished them all everytime. He grew up with no biological mother or father, a ward of the state, yet still lived to accomplish and obtain all of his life’s goals. He was a go getter, a true achiever, the drive and ambition he had was unmatched! Gerard truly had so much potential. The last time I talked to him was June 21, 2023 not even knowing that would be the last time we spoke.
On the night of June 22, 2023, I received a life-changing phone call from who I call my brother, Jamarian “Jay” Wilson, notifying me of the most devastating news ever! That Gee was gone… I was driving at the time, on my way to work, but the news left me in a state of shock and disbelief causing me to rush back to town at excessive speeds. When I arrived to his residence and finally walked inside I looked to the right and my whole posture just instantly changed, if our shoulders could fall off our body mine definitely would have! In that moment I discovered what was written on the wall by the front door, confirming it all. I stopped and stared in disbelief… then walked to his room and witnessed more of the traumatic setting. The impact of reality hit me all at once and left me completely shattered, all I could do was break down. I knew Gee was REALLY gone! I was so hurt, confused, and I truly felt abandoned… I couldn’t grasp what was to be true, that I had just lost my very best friend. I never went to sleep that night.
The sight of his blood haunts my dreams and clouds my days. I often wonder why I couldn’t make him stay. His laughter and voice echoes through my mind, and his pearly white smile is forever etched in my memory. It breaks me how he’s now just an audio and an image in my brain. I stand alone with nothing but regrets and pain, wishing I could turn back time and bring him back again. If I would have known his time would be so short, I would have given him more of mine and cherished every moment.
Gerard “Gee” Keelen (24), unexpectedly committed suicide, a mirror of his father’s tragic demise back in 2014. When he would talk to me about his childhood it was as if he never understood why his father would do such a thing. He shared the same first and middle name as him but in the past he told me he hated being called by his government name at a point in his life because it was his father’s name as well. An apostle once told him, “I don’t know your relationship with your father but you are not him. God has been waiting on you to come home for a long time. You have the potential to be a generational curse breaker.” It breaks me knowing that it ended this way with Gee. I wish he would’ve fought harder and went to God to get that broken off of his life, there was another route.
After this tragedy, it was revealed to me that this was all connected to my pursuit of purpose because his death resonated to my upcoming brand at the time, Beyond Genetix, which is based around breaking generational curses. I then knew God had given ME this brand for a reason, I discovered purpose in the midst of pain. I know only God could’ve pieced this together. He knew from the very beginning, it wasn’t a coincidence that this all linked. My life just started unfolding… (Romans 8:28 And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose.) I never thought I would be expressing my pain behind Gee’s death through my brand at the same time as spreading my message. I had a calling on my life before I even knew it. It breaks me to my core but for whatever reason according to God’s will it had to be this way. I couldn’t have gotten this anointing in my voice any other way. I wouldn’t be able to fully minister to people if I hadn’t personally experienced losing someone close to a generational curse. God had to take me through this storm to build me up to be a stronger vessel for his kingdom. Through his sacrifice, I discovered the calling. I then had a bigger reason, a bigger why. And I have a story now. I serve a God who is intentional. In Him, everything has a purpose. I was broke down but at the same time my why has became greater.
I really felt the need to push my brand and its message out after I lost someone who was close to me to a generational curse. I wish I could have saved Gee. One of my biggest regrets in life ever after him passing became me not sharing my brand with him anytime we did talk. I somehow never knew how much he needed to hear what I had to put out in the world. My brand possibly could have been a way to reach him. I last saw Gee in December of 2022, although we still kept contact, we were not seeing eachother, I came out with my logo in January of 2023 then put a pause on launching my brand, and hadn’t seen him since. My logo had been my lock screen for a while so anybody I was up close with just wouldn’t be able to by pass it. I know he would’ve questioned it, that’s the Gee I knew. If we hadn’t started drifting in the last few months this tragedy probably could have been avoided because I’m sure my brand would’ve stuck with him. I believe the devil blocked me out because he knew I was such a bright light in Gee’s life. The message behind my brand speaks too much volume. I was trying to redirect his path all the while. Instead those spirits devoured him in the end. I was so stuck on the fact that I failed to prevent this when I had the knowledge that Christ instilled in me and I knew the keys to stop what the devil assigned in his life from happening and it still ended bad. It ate me up for days after his death until I came to realization… it was written. As much as it may hurt, everything was supposed to fall into place the way it did for God’s ultimate glory. Therefore, I can’t even blame myself. My God is intentional and he allowed things to go the way they did for a reason. It may not have been meant for me to ever understand why but it is meant for me to make peace with. This is now apart of my story. God will take us through certain trials and tribulations in this journey we call life but the pieces will eventually start to come together. It still triggers me because I really never knew how much he needed to hear my message specifically. Although, I did know where he came from so I tried to help save him every chance I got since I figured out the root of it all. I was profound of the demons that had followed him throughout his childhood into adulthood. Yet I still didn’t think it would’ve ended this way with him. I talked to him about spiritual warfare several times, I just couldn’t really reach him. I still had so much hope though. I knew Gee so well and I loved him unconditionally, despite everything. All I ever wanted was for him to heal and be set free from bondage.
We live in a physical, flesh and blood world but however, we are all actually apart of a spiritual, unseen world in which a constant battle rages between the forces of good and evil. There is no escaping this battle either, it involves every single person across the face of the earth. Many people are not aware of this but there is a spiritual realm beyond the physical. The fight is never against flesh and blood. (Ephesians 6:12 For we wrestle not against flesh and blood, but against principalities, against powers, against the rulers of the darkness of this world, against spiritual wickedness in high places.) Spiritual warfare can consist of struggling against evil forces in our minds such as strongholds and mind battles, which can be very hard to deal with but those are all lies from the enemy that can be destroyed using the truth of God’s word. His word is our weapon. We all have already won any battle we are facing, including the battles that are taken place in our minds if we put our faith and trust in God. Suicide is a spirit, and so is depression and anxiety. There are many other types of spiritual beings. No amount of drugs, medication, or pharmaceutical will ever put an end to these struggles because they are all spiritual matters. Those are only temporary fixes. God gave us authority over all demonic spirits, we have the power to defeat them because our strength comes from Him. Spiritual battles can only be fought, and won, by the power of the Holy Spirit and the blood of Jesus. No other sources will defeat it!
God has a plan for every one of us and the devil has a plan too. As hard as it is to accept, the devil stole Gee’s destiny. That’s why we should pray for God’s perfect will over our life so he can guide us and surround us around people who are beneficial to our destiny, and we should ask him to cancel the plan that the devil has for us. God had placed me in Gee’s life for a reason, God gave Gee ME, but the devil came in and started running things. The devil and other evil entities have to have legal rights to operate in any of our lives. This is where generational curses can come in. A curse is a negative spiritual force that sabotages God’s plan for your life by taking advantage of legal rights claimed by the kingdom of darkness. When someone becomes a threat to Satan and his agenda, he tries to find a legal claim against them that can be used to stop their God ordained destiny. The devil can mandate an investigation to search our lives and family history to locate certain haptics that would grant him a legal right that can be used against us to land curses. He must find a breach according to God’s law in us or our bloodline to place a curse over our lives. On the brighter side, that is why God provided the blood of Jesus, to bring us out of any contract and protect us against the devil’s schemes. Because a generational curse comes through the bloodline, it can only be canceled by blood. If we go to God to break curses off of our lives the devil can no longer destroy us in that area. He will not have legal rights anymore because the plan would be canceled. God is real, and so is Satan. Gee’s death has shown me how much more real spiritual warfare is. God truly had a greater plan for his life, but Satan came in and destroyed it.
Losing Gee was one of the hardest experiences I had to face in my pursuit of purpose. I do understand more and more everyday and nobody but God has given me the drive to grow more spiritually and gain knowledge to complete my understanding. I’m so blessed that He planted this wisdom and understanding in me because if it wasn’t for that, I would have taken his death way worst. It’s a lot deeper than what the carnal mind tends to reflect on. A carnal mindset will continuously have you wondering WHY but when you are aware of the spiritual side, your understanding will become a lot better and it will bring about a sense of peace in knowing the inside depths.
By the grace of God I am still standing to share our story with those who are in need of a savior. There is a Savior and His name is Jesus. Gee could’ve been saved… but now it’s #GeeWay from here on, it’s a movement. This is for him. My brand “Beyond Genetix” will forever be dedicated to my former lover, Gerard Keelen, who was many of my firsts; my first love to be exact. He was someone who was very dear to my heart. I hope me sharing our story through my brand can be so powerful that it changes the outlook on many other’s situations, hardships, beliefs, and decisions to the point where it even saves lives. (Genesis 50:20 You intended to harm me, but God intended it all for good. He brought me to this position so I could save the lives of many people.) Always remember you matter. Gee mattered. This is my purpose to fulfill now. We all have one, you might find yours in your pain just like me.
This is my assignment from God at this point. It was revealed to me in a way I would have never imagined but since then I’ve been aware that He chose me. God gave me 7 years with Gee and a brand to carry on for him in the seventh year. I will continue to honor his memory through my brand; forever grateful for the impact he had on my life and the legacy he left behind. He is now here in every victory, every success, and every moment of breaking free from the chains that once bound us all!
Rest In Eternal Peace
to my love, Gerard Keelen.
His legacy lives on
as it’s been deeply rooted through me,
In loving memory.
April 15, 1999-June 22, 2023
My first love gone but never forgotten,
In his memory, my purpose begotten
